the goonsquad action that propels the game. Though there are moments in which youвЂ™re thrown a curveball lookout! in the form of brief shooting gallery interludes and some quick-time events (thank you, God of War), itвЂ™s really the Gene vs. Anyway, God HandвЂ™s gameplay, for a dozen hours, consists of you, Gene, punching various degrees of leatherbound lackeys and grumpy gorillas (actually). You know IвЂ™ve never seen The Karate Kid? IвЂ™m not sure IвЂ™m allowed to make that overt a reference. How is this going to be fun for (the ten or eleven hours a playthrough might take) ? Well itвЂ™s called technique. But a game about punching people, basically. You get the point: God Hand follows in the footsteps of games like Devil May Cry and Ninja Gaiden in repelling the forces of hell, as well as movies and animation like Mad Max and Fist of the North Star in depicting a wild, frontier-esque post-apocalyptic world. вЂњIвЂ™m not that kinda guy!вЂќ So continues GeneвЂ™s struggle with his sexuality. вЂњHeвЂ™s such a sexy man,вЂќ one remarks upon first meeting. WeвЂ™ll also meet Mr Gold and Mr Silver, mini-bosses (oh yes, there are plenty of mini-bosses in God Hand) wearingвЂ¦ Well you can see. Elvis, one of the Devas, is a pot-bellied hispanic man, prayer beads around his neck and cigar planted firmly between teeth. Melville it ainвЂ™t, but Shakespeare it might.? Where our story is straightforward, God HandвЂ™s cast of clowns is anything but typical. So Gene and Olivia are on their merry way, casually punching through the ranks to take down the head honchos.

Pretty standard stuff.ДЄngraвЂ™s return is provoked by the Four Devas, a small band of doity demons looking to bring the big man back. GeneвЂ™s acquisition of the armament ties in with his traveling companion, OliviaвЂ™s backstory, as well as the overarching premise of the game: In a world plagued by the demonic subjects of Angra, a long-banished superbad, the God Hand is worshipped and protected by those who seek to repel AngraвЂ™s forces, and champion a hero who can wield the Hand and defeat Angra as he looks to return to the world. God Hand is a third-person beat вЂem up in which you, Gene, find yourself in possession of the much-mentioned God Hand-literally an arm-which bestows great fighting prowess upon its holder. Alright, that was weird, you might think, but I guess this is just an action game. So we boot up the game and the aforementioned scene plays out, and weвЂ™re in it.

Though I wasnвЂ™t able to find direct quotes as to why this image wasnвЂ™t featured on the cover art, I think we can all do a little guesswork: That shitвЂ™s horrifying.) The fist/mouth image was apparently issued as a part of the digital press kit promoting the game, as per the gameвЂ™s page at the Capcom FANDOM. ThatвЂ™s the kind of shit an adolescent doesnвЂ™t forget. I remember one of my first impressions of God Hand being from an image not unlike the standard US/European cover art, but instead of the fist merely brushing past the goon it went straight through the poor sapвЂ™s mouth. Of that IвЂ™m sure.Д«ut how could a game assigned a 3/10 by the illustrious journalistic outlet IGN possibly be the greatest video game ever developed by humans? Well weвЂ™re gonna break it down like Zach de la Rocha and by the end you will no doubt agree: God Hand is the best video game ever. If not, itвЂ™s certainly the best game ever developed. ItвЂ™s been on my mind since I first laid eyes on the striking cover/promo art* more than ten years ago, and a recent replay has all but confirmed a sneaking suspicion of mine: God Hand is probably my favorite game of all-time. So begins God Hand, Clover Studio and director Shinji MikamiвЂ™s swan song and ode to brawlers, slapstick, suppressed sexuality, tank controls, Mike Tyson, and just about every other goddamn thing in the world. вЂњTheyвЂ™re still sexier than you are.вЂќ And then weвЂ™re punching guys. The man falls to his knees, вЂњWater!вЂќ The woman chimes in, вЂњGeneвЂ¦ this place reeks.вЂќ вЂњI knowвЂ¦ Wait, you donвЂ™t expect me to mop up.вЂќ Huh? вЂњCome on those guys are cake.вЂќ Bad guys? вЂњNot to mention much sexier than you.вЂќ What? вЂњWell looks like your sexy little friends are coming for a dance.вЂќ Thugs approach. WhoвЂ™da thunk! But like the way mom and dad put on a good face for JrвЂ™s birthday party-even though the divorce papers are being filed-itвЂ™s time to celebrate 15 years of GOD HAND, and if youвЂ™re so inclined, sneak a peek at this weak leek of a critique of The Greatest Video Game of All-Time.ДЄ tumbleweed rolls across the plain, a man and woman walk into a dusty western town. I originally typed this mess up for the world on May 9th, 2019, and, uh, well the world was a lot simpler then.

God hand game